How to Stop the Comparison Temptation in Its Tracks

Posted on Sep 08, 2016 Topic : Inspirational/Devotional, Women's Christian Living
Posted by : Stacey Thacker

For years the Lord has been working on my heart regarding the matter of comparison. Lately, he has been whispering to me that being fresh out of amazing isn’t a one-way ticket to despair; it is an opportunity to see God be big.

It isn’t that we completely miss all the things other amazing girls seem to be doing. But we aren’t threatened by them because we are more aware of the work God is doing in us. In fact, we might even be drawn to imitate those same amazing girls.

Earlier this year my daughter Emma learned some hard lessons about making comparisons. Emma has been a dancer for eleven years. For much of that time, she was part of a ballet company that held classes in a local church and did not have the traditional mirrors you see in most studio spaces.

Much to the delight of the dancers this past year, the company was able to procure a new studio complete with hardwood floors and a wall of mirrors on two sides of the room. But within a few weeks I noticed a change in Emma’s demeanor when I picked her up from dance. Where before she might have been tired after a rehearsal, my usually extroverted girl was now quiet and a bit withdrawn. Slowly, she had started questioning her own dance skills to the degree that she hinted at quitting altogether.

I had an idea what might be going on, but it took several conversations to get to the heart of the matter. She admitted, “Mom, when I was dancing at the church, I only had my instructor in my view. She not only gave me correction, but she always offered me encouragement as well. Now, since we have mirrors all around us as we dance, I’m watching the other girls too. They look different from me, and they dance differently. Now all I see is my own need for correction—and their confidence.”

Later that week I happened to be talking to another dance mom whose daughter was feeling discouraged as well. When I relayed this to Emma, she seemed surprised. In a moment of revelation and wisdom beyond her fifteen years, she said, “Mom, the mirror magnified my insecurities.” And this understanding began to slow and eventually stop her downward spiral, and she resolved to keep dancing.

In the end, what made the difference for my daughter was the truth found in Joshua 1:9: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

The truth of God’s presence in Emma’s life set her free from the idea that she had to be a better version of what she saw in other girls. She only needed to imitate her instructor and strive to please the One who was with her and who would provide the courage she needed when she needed it most. She chose imitation over comparison, and this wise choice has served her well.