How to Know if You’re a Proverbs 32 Woman

With two girls and a career of traveling around the country making people laugh, my life is far from “Insta-perfect.” I live in LA, where all of the ultra-skinny people ask me if I’m pregnant. I started saying yes, since I look “good for four months preggo” (which I’m not).

I love God with my whole heart, but I skipped church the other day to watch VeggieTales. My kids eat raw veggies because their mom doesn’t know how to steam them. They think a snack is a dirty Tic Tac from my purse.

You get the picture.

The truth is, I’m not the Proverbs 31 woman. Remember her? She’s the perfect early-rising, field-plowing woman who makes her own clothes and has three jobs. I’m more like the Proverbs 32 woman. You haven’t heard of her? Well, let me tell you. It’s definitely me…and it might be you too. These are our mantras:

“I will submit to not going to work!”

“I never pay retail.”

“It’s not gossip if your head is bowed!”

“Nutella solves all your problems.” (And so does Ben and Jerry’s.)

“We don’t have issues. We have prayer requests.”

If you can relate to not being able to relate to that wonderful biblical woman of God that so few of us can actually measure up to, then buckle up! Because I’m about to convince you it is perfectly okay to be a #HotMess4Jesus.

If you’re not sure if you’re a Proverbs 32 Woman, here are three questions to ask yourself:

1.Do you rise early, and does anyone call you “blessed” before 8:00 a.m.?

2.Do you plow?

3.Do you avoid naps at all costs?

If your answer to all of those questions is a very loud “no”, you’re in good company.

Accepting that you are a Proverbs 32 Woman is the gift of being convinced that God is crazy about you. He completely understands you, loves you without complaint, passionately chases after you, and will never leave or forsake your hot-mess self for anything or anyone. You’re loved. Safe. Accepted. Breathe deeply and smile. Get out that Nutella and eat some carbs! God created them. You can rest in the joy of being a Proverbs 32 Woman.

How do I know you can do this? I have the stories to prove it. And so do you, if you look deep enough. That’s right: you can uncover the real you, look deep into your “hotmessness,” and smile.