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Do You Know How to Encourage Your Spouse?

Posted on Feb 14, 2017   Topic : Men's Christian Living, Women's Christian Living
Posted by : Bill Farrel


Sometimes it isn’t easy to discover ways to encourage your spouse. One woman came to me and said, “There is nothing in my marriage. No spark or sizzle—nothing! I have no feelings. I want out.”

I suggested we pray and ask God to show her one positive thing about her spouse. She went home and prayed some more. The next day she called and said, “I thought of something.”

“Good. What is it?” I asked hopefully.

“He’s still here.”

He’s still here? I thought she was kidding, but I could tell from her tone that she wasn’t.

At our next session, I said, “Okay, let’s run with that. Let’s brainstorm together ways you can tell him thanks for being here.” We made a list of several ways she could say to him, “You’re here.”

She went back home and began a new habit. She would walk by her husband sitting in his recliner with the remote in hand watching sports, rub his shoulders, and say, “It’s nice to know you’re around.”

She’d see him sitting reading the paper and say, “You know, I was thinking, it’s nice to know some things in life you can count on—like you being here.”

She came up with so many ways to positively say, “You’re here, bud,” that one day he got up out of that old recliner.

He came into the living room where she was having a quiet time reading her Bible. He’d never been interested in spiritual discussions before, but he said, “Honey, what are you reading?”

“My Bible. I was having a problem at work and this passage in the book of Psalms is helping me.”

“Why don’t you read it to me?”

She did, and added an explanation of how it applied to her life.

“That’s pretty neat,” he replied with genuine enthusiasm.

The next Sunday, a miracle happened. Instead of going to his favorite chair, he asked if he could go to church with her. And he’s been going ever since. In addition, she now regularly tells me of his romantic gestures toward her.

She found the power of encouraging words by taking 100 percent of her energy and focusing it on one positive trait.

Pam and I have learned that happiness and passion in marriage don’t come from finding the right partner, but in being the right partner.


4 Comments Leave a Comment »

Melanie on 02/15/17

How can one seriously do this when the marriage is at a point where you know that you are not in love with your spouse?

Eugene on 02/15/17

There’s always hope if God is where you look for the answer!
Thanks for sharing this!

Jennifer on 03/01/17

I feel led to answer Melanie’s question and I pray I’m given the words she needs.
Marriage is a gift from God and very important to Him. If we are obedient to His Word in the Bible our marriages should reflect the love that Jesus has for the Church. And the church being His people, His followers, believers. Oftentimes, we neglect our marriage and our spouse for whatever reason the enemy causes us to think is more important because he knows this will cause our marriages to deteriorate and eventually fall apart. Even Christians can fall into this trap. I know because I was one of them. We even divorced. But one day, I found myself in such despair and depression because I was single and alone. Not really even thinking about my ex-husband, I got down on my knees sobbing and praying that God would send me the husband He had planned for me. A man who loved Jesus and who truly loved me. Shortly after, I got a phone call from my ex-husband asking me to let him take me to lunch. Reluctantly I accepted. As of today, we have been remarried (happily) for almost 2 years. So, even if you feel you have fallen out of love, or in my case, gone as far as being divorced, God can do anything, ANYTHING, if we ask Him with a sincere heart and it is His will.

Harvest House on 03/02/17

Jennifer, thank you so much for being willing to share your story and for testifying to the power of God in your life. We praise God for the miracle He has given you! And we pray that anyone who needs this hopeful reminder will find your heartfelt comment. God bless!


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