3 Ways to Restore the Romance with Your Husband

Posted on Mar 08, 2018 Topic :
Posted by : Cindi McMenamin

Do you remember the joy you experienced as a newlywed?

I do. Those memories came flooding back to me the day I found a stack of old, yellowed papers in my top dresser drawer. Love letters written by my husband nearly 30 years ago containing phrases any woman would want to read over and over again. Phrases like “I love you beyond expression” and “You complete me like no other.”

As I read through those old love letters, my eyes teared up. And then my heart dropped.

How I wanted to be married to THAT man again. That man who wrote me those letters and thought the world of me.

But then it occurred to me. How he must want to be married to THAT woman again!

I set out to become the woman to whom he penned those words. And as I did, I found he quickly became the man who could write them to me again.

No matter how long we’ve been married, we could all use a refresher, a pick-me-up, something new (or old) to try to renew and re-glue the relationship so we can bring back the romance. As I was writing my book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband, it occurred to me that the actions on the part of a wife can make all the difference in a marriage. I took steps to remove the baggage, rebuild love, and recapture my husband’s heart. Here are three simple ways you can experience more with your husband:

1. Respond to Him Like a New Wife

Remember when you were a brand-new bride? Oh, what a feeling! You couldn’t wait until the two of you got off work so you could be together again. You constantly checked your text or voice mail messages. You had a special sparkle in your eyes when you talked of him and a spring in your step when you walked alongside him. What would it take to get back that loving feeling for him? If you’re waiting for him to do something different, I guarantee he will when YOU start responding to him like you once did when you were a new wife.

2. Reframe What You Say to Him

Most of the baggage in marriage comes from careless, hurtful, or accusing words we tend to say to one another. We often didn’t even intend for those words to sound the way they did. Ephesians 4:29 instructs: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” So, instead of saying “Are you going to wear THAT to dinner?” Say, “I’d love it if you’d wear that blue shirt you look great in.” Instead of saying, “Why don’t we go out on dates anymore?” Try, “I miss spending time alone with you.” Before the words exit your mouth, ask yourself, “Will this encourage him and make him believe I’m in his corner?” If the answer is no, don’t say it at all.

3. Refuse to Dwell on the Negatives

Every relationship has memories and situations we need to let go so we can move forward. Negative thoughts and memories may creep up, but don’t let them run rampant in your mind. Practice 2 Corinthians 10:5, which instructs us to “take every thought captive to obey Christ.” Stop negative thinking, and remember why you fell in love with your husband in the first place. Was it his tenderness? The way he made you laugh? His dependability and faithfulness? Focus on his positive qualities–even ones you believe you haven’t seen in a while–and you just might start noticing them again.

What are the qualities that made you fall in love with your husband?