3 Ways to Overcome the New Loneliness

Are you feeling lonelier these days than you used to? Experiencing that unexplainable ache you can’t seem to get rid of? Perhaps you’re spending more time with your phone than with people and you don’t want to think about how that might’ve happened. Maybe you used to feel closer to God and some of your friends than you do today and you don’t know how to reverse that.

People have always suffered from loneliness at one time or another. But now it’s far more persistent due to increased technology, habits we developed from the COVID lockdowns, reliance on AI, and the convenience of looking online for not just essentials, but relationships and social connections too. I call this the new loneliness, where we tend to look at screens more than faces, text more than talk, and conduct our business mostly online rather than in person.
The result? Fewer conversations. Even less transparency. Next to zero relationships. Loneliness.

Whether
your loneliness is caused by your work or living circumstances, a subconscious preference for internet rather than interpersonal connections, a misunderstanding or falling out with someone, unresolved conflict with family or friends—or feeling inadequate, unprepared, unsupported, or overwhelmed—you and I were never designed to live this way.

Jesus came to offer us purpose and life (John 10:10), not pain and loneliness. And in close relationship with Him (in which we trust Him with our everyday life), we can experience not only joy and contentment, but more fulfilling relationships with others as well.

Would you like to overcome this new loneliness and feel more closely connected with your Maker and a spiritual family who supports you? These three steps are a great start:

1.Reconnect with God.

There’s a difference between believing in God and trusting Him with your everyday life. When you get to know His character, you can’t help but trust Him, and that will help you more readily extend trust toward others. Every day this week, say these three truths aloud about God: “He is
with me. He is for me. And He has a reason why I’m here.” Then get into His Word and discover Who He is and what He’s capable of. (A good place to start reading is in the book of First John).

When you reconnect—or start to
really connect—with God through His Word and a focus on His character, you’ll find your value in Him, as well as the priority He set for your life—to love Him with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love others as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39). With a better understanding of who you are and why you were created, you will be more equipped to resolve whatever is causing your feelings of loneliness.

2. Re-evaluate Your heart and hurts.

Have you surrendered to God your past hurts, insecurities, and feelings of inadequacy—all which can interfere with enjoying healthy relationships? We are all wounded in some way and left with scars of betrayal, abandonment, broken relationships, or we are left wondering if we are really loved for who we are. These scars can cover longtime hurts we didn’t know we had, and keep us from developing deeper friendships with others. Sometimes, out of a fear of being hurt, we keep those who extend toward us at a distance and thus it’s easier to text than talk or communicate via a screen rather than face to face. As you seek to better understand who you are in the light of God’s grace, forgiveness, and transformation, you can more easily trust those whom God brings your way and start developing more meaningful relationships with them. Start by asking God to take inventory of your heart and your hurts, while you remember He is the God who makes all things new—even you! (2 Corinthians 5:17).

3.Reach out to others in the body of Christ.

Who haven’t you connected with in a while because you’ve been so busy? How long has it been since you’ve felt connected with a group of believers in a local church? As you put yourself in the position, literally, where God can surround you with like-minded believers, you can grow spiritually and feel far more connected with others and far less lonely.

How will
you push through this culture’s new loneliness and experience the kind of meaningful community God intended? I’d love to hear it in the comment section below so I can be praying for your heart.

---

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker, Bible teacher, and author of 18 books with Harvest House Publishers, including her newest release, The New Loneliness: Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated. Her ministry focuses on helping women strengthen their relationship with God and others. Find out more about her at www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.